We are often told to smile and just be happy, but what’s wrong with that? Well, it can become toxic and actually harm us to constantly have that mindset. Here’s why;
1. First of all, staying Positive is a good thing, but not when you Dismiss Negative Emotions.
It is good to have a positive mindset in life, but what happens when we start to push away negative feelings? Then we are forcing ourselves to be happy, which is toxic. We should not feel bad to experience those emotions, as they are a part of life.
Don’t ever feel bad for not being happy, instead let whatever other emotion you’re feeling be there. Don’t judge or try to get rid of it by forcing a smile on your face, just let it be present within you. If you keep pushing it away, it will keep coming back.
2. It’s Ok to Not be Ok
Don’t say things are fine when they’re not. Don’t pretend, because then it will come back to you. If you do, you are only lying to yourself.
People on social media appear happy because who would show themselves sad? It’s like they’re promoting you’re weird if you’re not happy, and that being unhappy is not ok. We have to realize not being ok, is ok. You and all your emotions are valid and real.
You will feel much better, and more true to yourself.
3.Healthy ways to let out your Emotion
Take the time to cry if you need to, as it’s a perfectly healthy way to let out your emotion and in no way means your weak.
Journaling and reflecting can also be a great way to identify what you’re feeling if your not sure, and then taking the time to write it out and accepting whatever it may be.
Exercise boosts your endorphins and is so good for your body and mind.
Any hobby really, as long as you’re not forcing yourself to be happy. Engage in the hobby with whatever you’re feeling, and just let it be.
There are days when we wake up and don’t feel the sun on our faces. Not every day you’re going to be full of joy, and not every second you’re going to have a smile on your face.
Don’t tell yourself to get over it, instead, tell yourself your emotions are validated and you are working on it.
Its ok to not be happy, rather pretending to be happy, when you’re not really happy.
You are on the verge of giving up. The clouds are coming in gray and rapidly, and your limbs shake as you take another step. The map you brought doesn’t help, and the compass only confuses you. The hike has turned into a fight for your survival, instead of the destination it promised.
Heaving, you find your breath and look around. Everything looks the same; muddy pathways and tall trees that resemble a jail cell. It’s a shame the battery on your phone died, because it looks like it’s about to storm.
It’s holding off though, and you wipe the bead of sweat on your forehead from the scorching humidity. You lost track of the time, but an estimated 4 hours have gone by. You stop at a nearby tree, resting on it’s limb, and grab a cold water bottle out of your backpack. It’s the only thing that’s keeping you going, yet with each sip it gets closer to being empty.
Your feet are heavy and blisters are starting to form. Just when you went to go digging in your backpack for a granola bar, you see a long stick that moves. You realize it’s not a stick, but a large snake. Signs have warned you about this type of snake, and the red lettering saying, ‘poisonous,’ doesn’t ease your anxiety as it slithers closer towards you. The only option in your head is to run. Your feet move before your brain tells it to, and your pacing in the opposite direction, back where you came.
The snake is out of your view, and you think it’s best to sit down on a nearby rock. The wind has picked up, and you puff out your face to catch the breeze. You don’t want to move because of the snake and it’s slimy skin, so you freeze instead.
In your backpack, wrapped tightly around your shoulders, you take out a box of granola bars. There’s only a few left, but the thought of the crunchy, sweet snack brings you comfort. You feel peaceful sitting down and eating your snack, and once it’s finished, you are satisfied.
You still haven’t left the rock, and your feet are planted firmly on the ground. You don’t want to move out of fear, as the snake is still present in your mind. You don’t want to try again, because what if it’s still there? The granola bar is wearing off, and you feel a void in your stomach you can’t fill with food.
You quench your thirst with a sip of refreshing water, and suddenly you’re standing up, looking at the road ahead with a light in your eyes. You keep trekking on this long journey.
You don’t think it can get any worse, but the weather disagrees. The clouds are menacing and rain fills your shoes, heavy drops of water make it harder for you to pick up your feet. Thunder roars like a lion and flashes of lightning strike every which way.
You reach into your bag for the water bottle as you can barely see or move from the resistance of the heavy rain. You take one last sip before it’s empty, and then you feel empty, as there’s nothing left to keep you going.
The weather is something you can’t control, and so you let it control you by tossing aside the empty water bottle and laying your body flat on the mud, and you whisper to yourself, “I give up.”
The water hitting your face seems to have died down, and you flutter your lashes to see a man holding a hand out in front of you. You take it with full force, and after standing up, you see him point in a direction. “It’s that way,” he says, and then his wrinkled face disappears.
Some rain must’ve gotten into your water bottle, not much, but enough for a taste. You pick it up, swirl it around, and hang onto it tightly in your fist. You now have the power to keep going, despite the storm that is still raging.
After what feels like ages, the storm is gone, and you see something that catches your eye. It’s a ray of light shining down on a waterfall, and around it are bushes full of flowers. You run to the water fall and catch some in your hands. It’s sparkling blue, and the weather is the perfect temperature.
Birds are singing and there’s not a cloud in the sky. You take in the fresh oxygen and let it out, feeling full of satisfaction. The view of this heavenly place was worth it all, every last step of defeat.
The sun shines on your face, and you smile in content.
Water Bottle:How much water in the bottle represented how much hope was left; if you still have hope, you’re not in despair
Snake:Represents fear of failure, and if you never try, you’ll never know what it’s like to feel the ‘sun shine on your face’
Granola bars:Represents comfort and how it may satisfy you in the present, but if you never step out of your comfort zone, it won’t satisfy you in the long run
Storm: Representsthings we can’t always control, but have to adapt to them anyways
Person: Sometimes you have to get external help on the way of your journey
Do you ever wonder how people become successful? Most of the time, it’s not magic, and they develop these habits;
1. They don’t wait for inspiration to hit, they find it
If you only ever work when you’re inspired, that may not be a lot. We aren’t inspired all the time, and the truth is, you have to go looking for it yourself. Seek inspiration and it will come to you.
2. They Create Habits and Do it even when they don’t want to
Push yourself out of comfort zone in order to work hard and be successful. Create daily habits that will help you become one step closer to achievement, and soon, the habits will become easier to do.
If you ever need a break, though. Take it, you deserve to rest when working hard.
3. Failure Fuels Them
As soon as they fail, they don’t give up and drown in their sorrows. No, they want it even more now. They take those feelings of disappointment and turn it into motivation to work harder.
Don’t ever be afraid to fail, be open to it instead. Failure can be good.
Focusing on what you want is key for it come true. In fact, focusing that you already have it, is the key to a door of success. Tell yourself you already have what you want, and that the universe is on your side.
For example, instead of saying, I want to become famous. Say, I’m so thankful I have become famous. Or, I’m so glad I have inspired many people.Tell yourself that your success, is inevitable.
Repeat those affirmations to yourself everyday with what you want.
5. Goal Setting
Create goals, because without them, you don’t have a clear understanding of what you want. Make short term, long term, and ones you think you could never achieve.
6. They envision it before hand
Envision your success. Again, think about how it will feel, what it will look like, and how it might change you. Creating a vision board is a perfect way to to do so, and to gather inspiration.
7. Intuition and Feeling
They just knew. They just knew something was always going to happen for them. Do you feel that way? If not, that’s alright, but you can work on believing it to be true. Strengthen that gut feeling of, yes, I will become successful.
8. Positive Thinking
It will be so much harder to achieve something if you don’t believe you can. Believing is truly going to get you far, so tell yourself I know I will become successful, and be sure of it.
Always dream big, work hard, and believe.
You got this.
“People begin to become successful the minute they decide to be.”
Do you ever feel like you are less than the person beside you? If so, keep reading to shift your perspective on your self, and why you should never feel that way.
First of all, it’s Incredible that you are Even Here
Do you know the chances of you being alive? It’s a huge equation that involves a lot of zeros, but when broken down, the probability of you existing is approximately a zero! The odds of you being alive is 1 in 400 trillion!
So, take a deep breathe and think about that for a moment. You are here, right now, living.
You aren’t Here for Nothing
Out of the zero percent chance of you existing, means you aren’t here for nothing. You have a purpose. You were put on this Earth for a reason, and if you have trouble finding that reason, that’s okay. You will find it.
Life has a purpose if you give it one.
Searching for the answer? Here are some;
Think about the people in your life. You bring joy to those people. Even if it’s a simple interaction or a smile at a stranger; you brought them joy. You could have saved them. We are made to spread love, as we are in this world together. Helping people and loving the ones who need it, are beautiful ways to make your life more meaningful. Even if it’s a simple act of kindness.
Think about what you love to do. What lights a fire in your soul? Passion leads to your purpose, so consider finding things that make you passionate. How can you bring your passion to the world? Could it change the world in some way? Remember it can, even if it’s in the smallest of ways.
We All have a Calling
We all have something that we’re made to do on this Earth. We all have a vocation; something we are called to do. So, think about some gifts, talents, and maybe deep passions you have. They are given to you for a reason, and it would be a shame if they go to waste.
We Need You
We need your contribution to society. Whatever it may be, we need you. To use your gifts and talents, or simply love or smile at another person. Because at the end of the day, we are all breathing the same air.
You are worth more than words could ever describe.
“Their is a purpose and worth to each and every life.”
Writing down things your grateful for seems easy, right? Well, what if you actually took the time to do it. Could taking 3 minutes out of your day really impact your life? Yes, and here’s why;
Gratitude is Strongly Linked with Happiness
If your in a state of depression or anxiety and start listing all the things you are grateful for, you have altered your state. Your brain is now focusing on the positive of the situation; what you have and are glad to have. This can relieve those feelings and rewire your brain to be more content in the situation.
It’s Proven to Reduce Stress and Help you Sleep Better
Again, listing things your grateful for daily will help you focus on the positive rather than the negative, resulting in a less stressed life. You will sleep better too, as your thoughts won’t spiral into negativity when trying to sleep, but rather settle on a content feeling. Having blessings = less stress. Less stress = better sleep.
You will Improve Relationships and Feel more Satisfied; less Comparing to Others
The more content you are with life, the more others will feel that energy. You will also be more satisfied with what you have, instead of realizing the things that you don’t. This includes comparing with other people and being jealous for what ever they have; materialistic items or qualities. Why wish for something you can’t have when you are filled with things to be grateful for in front of you? And qualities that we are already given yet neglect to appreciate?
Many of us always want, but never appreciate. What happens when we start appreciating?
How To Get Started
Before going to bed, write 1-3 things you have in your life that you are grateful for. It could be a supportive person, clean water, a warm bed, or something that happened to you that day which brought you joy; a cup of tea, the sunshine, a good book you’re enjoying.
Remember, we all have something to be grateful for.
Even that you are alive and breathing. Wake up and say, I’m grateful I get to experience the gift of life. I’m grateful I get to experience what this day has to offer.
As simple as, I’m grateful to be alive in this moment.
Notice what happens.
“Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance.”
If your feeling sad and negative thoughts continue to spiral in your head, the answer could be quite simple. Continue reading to find out;
Thoughts are Energy
If something is real, they contain energy. Thoughts are real and therefor contain energy. Now, this could mean positive or negative. If you think negative thoughts, you are creating negative energy, and vice versa.
So, how do we get rid of the negative energy?
Engage in something Positive
As simple as it sounds, doing the littlest thing that makes you happy will change the negative energy. If you externally engage in something positive, it will affect you internally. Think about it, if you go for a walk, read, exercise, or watch a funny video how do you feel after? You probably feel a lot better than you did before. This is because you have changed the energy, and energy: is the cause of any change. The littlest things will shift your perspective and change your thoughts. An example of an external factor influencing your internal energy is;
Even if your sad, smiling will make you happier. Why? Because it releases endorphins and causes positive emotions, even if it’s forced.
For long term, we can think about;
Dealing with Negative people
They also carry negative energy which can affect you, so you may think about changing your social circle. This can also shed light if your friends have an effect on you and you’ve never noticed before. Ask yourself, how do I feel when I’m around them?
Practicing meditation daily will help you to observe your thoughts rather than give into them. It will help create balance, increase self awareness, and reduce negative emotions.
Fact;emotional pain only lasts for 10 to 20 minutes, so if you’re still dwelling, it’s self inflicted by over thinking and you’re making it worse. Simple answer: Engage in something positive.
Do we truly know who we are? Either way, are we afraid to be ourselves? We often hear, “Be Yourself,” but how do we do that? Well, once you discover who you truly are and your purpose in life, real happiness is not to far away.
Why is being your true self important?
“To be that self which one truly is, is indeed the opposite of despair.”
When we abandon our true self, it could go two ways. We either fail and hate ourselves after, or we succeed and abandon our true self—alienation from ones true self causes despair.
Ask yourself; Am I feeling depressed, or am I just alienated from myself? Is it because I am not honest with who I am. Am I hiding who I am? Where will that get me? If your not living out your goals and purpose, you get rid of your potential.
We have to accept ourselves to gain peace and happiness. Once we do that, we can live out the life we were meant to live, and be fulfilled.
Who Are You?
First, you need to figure out who you are. Spend time reflecting on your goals, values, fears, passions etc. Go deep within yourself and most importantly, be honest. Write it down to put it into perspective and take the time to get to know you, the only person who will never leave you. A lot of us are afraid to go deep with in ourselves, but we shouldn’t be because it is a part of us, and we are worthy. To help with this activity;
Get Rid of the External Factors
Who are you without the opinions of others? Without the judgments of our society, peer pressure, standards we want to live up to, people in our lives affecting our decisions… who are we truly and what do we want in life?
Remember, happiness comes from within, not externally.
“Being your true self is the most effective formula for success there is.”
What would happen if everyone worried about what would happen next? Our whole lives would be consumed with fear, and worst of all, we would never get to experience what was right in front of us. Life would pass us by in aninstant.
I used to live in my head and have constant “What If” thoughts about what could go wrong. But I realized that’s no way to live, so here are some tips and tricks to help you stop worrying about the future;
1. It does Nothing
First: we need to remind ourselves we can’t predict the future. Worrying about it does absolutely nothing, except wastes the present moment. And when that moment you were worried about does come, you will want to take back the time you had worrying about, because you’ve wasted you’re time.
2. Put it into Perspective
Second: think of all the hours in you’re life you spent worrying. Now, imagine what you could of been doing instead. Another thing to think about is; was it as bad as you thought it would be. Chances are it wasn’t, and you created the negative thoughts. Think about it, will you remember what you were worrying about in a year from now?
Again, worrying won’t change the future to make it how you want it to be. It’s important to understand it will only bring negativity into the future, if it’s only negative thoughts.
3. Write it Down
Third: What are you worried about? Write it down. Once you have it on paper, it’s out of your head. Let it stay on the paper, and only the paper. Tear it up if you have to and get rid of it. It’s now out of your life.
4. Distract Yourself
Fourth: A simple distraction won’t hurt. Cooking, cleaning, exercising, anything that will you bring you to focus on the present moment is a great way to stop worrying. You might even forget what you were so worried about it, and often time that happens because our thoughts can be so irrational.
5. Have Trust
Fifth: Trust in fate. Whatever happens, was meant to happen. Ultimately, we forget how little control we actually have. Trust whatever happens in the future, because it’s all part of you’re plan in the end.
Worrying about the future will rid us of the joy we have right in front of us.
“Being afraid of the things that could go wrong, isn’t the way to make things go right.”
You’re having a bad day. Everything seems to be going wrong. We all have those days, or even times when life doesn’t seem so beautiful. But how can we make it better? Well, with just a small change to our thoughts, we can in Three Simple Steps;
First: Simply observe whatever life has thrown at you. Take it in, breathe. You don’t have to react right away, just acknowledge what has happened without judgement.
2. Replace Negative thoughts with Positive
Notice how, “I’m having a bad day,” turns to, “Today was bad, but tomorrow’s always a new day.”
Their is always a way to look on the bright side of things. Even if something terrible happens to you, it’s a lesson. It will make you stronger. So, instead of saying, “I’m going through a hard time and don’t know how I will ever get through,” think instead, “I’m going through a hard time, but this will make me stronger and a better person because of it.” Now, the more you practice changing your thoughts, the easier it will become.
3. Practice Gratitude
What do you have in you’re life that you appreciate. Food, clean water, maybe it’s a t.v show you really enjoy. Be grateful for it, even if it’s as simple as a cup of hot tea. Enjoy the sensation. When negative things occur, remind yourself you are grateful to experience life in it’s entirety. The good, and the bad.
Negative thoughts are contagious
How you think impacts your whole life. For example; if you believe you are not worthy or ugly and tell yourself that everyday, you will believe it. It will become you’re reality. Tell yourself positive things, and it will become you’re reality.
How you respond to any situation will determine your mood. A bad day means you’ll appreciate the good, but a bad thought, means you won’t appreciate anything.
“Experience is not what happens to you; it’s what you do with what happens to you.”