I have social anxiety and a fear of public speaking. In school, presentations made me so anxious to the point I couldn’t even imagine doing them. I never raised my hand and sat at the back of the class afraid to be seen. After trying to avoid anything that made me anxious, I decided to face it head on and take a theatre and performance class. Here’s what I’ve learned:
1. Accept Failure – It Makes You Try Things
Really? That’s what were starting with? Yes. Knowing it was ok to fail was the only thing that made me go to class and do the activities. Accepting failure doesn’t mean you’re going to fail, but it makes you actually do the activity.
It’s ok to be afraid, we don’t have to push those feelings away. It’s ok to not be the best at something, your worth doesn’t change.
Having less expectations took the pressure of myself because I knew one thing: I can never be a failure if I tried.
2. Your Worth Never Changes
Our first task was to tell a story in front of everyone and be recorded. When I first heard that, my heart sank. I was so worried about messing up or appearing nervous and shaky. Not to mention, telling a personal story is an incredibly vulnerable thing.
Watching others who stumbled or forgot what they were going to say made me realize that as an audience member, I have nothing but support for them. The reactions from others were all positive. I didn’t think of them as any less, so why should I think of myself as less? That helped my internal fear of rejection because I learned to accept myself.
3. Let Go of Expectations: See Challenges as Opportunities for Growth
When I went up and told my story “off the top of my head” that I had pretty much memorized (improv is something I’m still working on), the only thing that made me go up there was letting go of all my expectations. When I did that, I actually felt this determination to go up there just because I wanted to try it and see if I could do it. And because I wanted to get better at it, I saw this as a wonderful opportunity for me to grow instead of a threat to run away from. It didn’t matter if I was shaking or I forgot what I was going to say because, again, my worth would not change. I would, however, feel immense satisfaction for trying and grow from it.
So I did. I told my story and proved to myself I could do it.
And you can do it too.
To Be Continued…
Through changing thought patterns and going out of the comfort zone, social anxiety can decrease. It’s a journey that I’m still on, but that was the step I needed to start.
Anybody interested in continuing this journey with me? I would love to provide some challenges to go out of the comfort zone and express my findings on what I have learned.
To end, here’s a lovely quote from one of my favourite authors (for all the fellow perfectionists out there):
“I just give myself permission to suck…I find this hugely liberating.” -John Green
Wise Young Owl 